I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize