Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
