"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
