Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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