I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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