One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
