For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
