My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
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i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
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I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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