oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
