I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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