U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
