i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
