Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
