U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
