Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
