She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i believe in u and ur pee
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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