they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
