so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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