in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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