I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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