so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
