in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
