I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
