You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
