I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
