garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
