hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
