i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
