that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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