i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
