I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
