Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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