After last night, I could never be a politician.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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