i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
