so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
