Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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