I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
