9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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