I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
