brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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