you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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