She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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