I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I need water and some morals
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
