capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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