Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
