No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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