Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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