im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
