I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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