people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
