Porn is love you can see.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
