We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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