Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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