I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
