Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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